Youth Attitudes Toward Public Health (Son, Who Told You You Could Spit?)

I've noticed a rather disturbing trend among college-age American males: public spitting. On sidewalks, on streets, in grass-- public areas. Here I examine aspects of sanitation, demographics, and gender roles in regard to the issue.

1. Ew
This is just plain gross, people. You are bringing up stuff that your body doesn't want inside and expelling it where people (and small children and animals) walk and play. I don't want my kids touching your phlegm. Further, I don't want rodents eating it or whatever and spreading disease from it. You, sir, are a hazard to public health.

2. The subject was of average height, caucasian male...
Though I have not conducted any kind of formal study, incidences of spitting that I have noticed have all been committed by caucasian males, and all of the fratty/preppy type. These experiences are fleeting, and I have not confronted any of the subjects, but I feel safe in my assumption (based on appearance and overheard conversation) that all of the spitters have been American (that is, not international students) and middle- or upper middle-class.

3. So what does this mean?
What gives these young men the permission to spit? They have all been male - is the spitting a symptom of the free reign given to boys in terms of their aggressive actions? Is cleanliness sissiness? Is spitting a display of masculinity? Yet they all happened to be white. Why would spitting not cross race/ethnic lines? That all of the men seemed to be American (or at least Americanized) gives the most fun answer, however. The spitters show blatant disregard for the greater well-being of their environment. Could this be the same go-it-alone, independent, self-centered behavior typified by current American public opinion and foreign policy?

Perhaps this American obstinacy is a direct display of chest-beating masculinity. I take that back; it clearly is. But why does anyone perceive irresponsibility toward the larger population as somehow positive? It's just silly, I tell you what.

So while I attempt to discover whatever deeper message lies in translucent pools about town, there should still be some response to the immediate sanitary problems. Perhaps I'll write to the mayor or the city council or something. Still, though, what are they going to do to enforce a spitting ordinance? The day the public government has the resources to DNA-test samples of saliva* from street corners is the day I whine louder about public education. And right to privacy.

I leave you with the following thought, imparted to me by my roommate: "Screw off in peace."

*naturally, not the saliva itself, but cheek cells that flake off into it