On Loss

So I've been having some separation anxiety recently. Y'see, graduation is coming up, and many of my close friends will be leaving. Plus Meema's leaving over the summer, and Mommy within the next year.

I'm not feeling abandoned--that's selfish-- but I'm a little panicky about losing such an incredible group of people to distance.

I feel like I've kind of come into my own over the last few months, what with WCHR and increased involvement with Stonewall, but I've done it with the gentle pushing and overwhelming support of these people. To have them leave now makes me feel a little lost. These people are my role models, the core of heroes I look to for advice, for inpsiration, for plain old copy-catting. And they're my friends! We hang out! We laugh! They cut my hair and console me when I'm crying and we watch movies and they humor me and pretend not to know that I'm completely in love with them and tell me what this school was like before I was here and how they got here and we dance.

And I'm not ready to let go. God damn it, I just found you!

Don't tell me I'll find new people, I know I will, but that's not the point. I like liking you! I don't want to replace you!

So I'll be all emo for the next month or so, and I'm sorry for that. I know it's just time for you all to move on to the next parts of your lives; I'm just sad I can't go with you.

I'm also getting an I-need-to-know-everything-about-you-before-it's-too-late feeling. Please consider sitting down with me to tell me your entire life story. I'm serious. Things that would probably come up if we had a few more years together. Please?

I heart you all very much.