Missing: My Period

For immediate release:

(Maiuterus, Jayaville) - When the city council of Jayaville issued a symbolic statement abolishing menstruation, no one expected Flo Freely, who has not returned to work since her sabbatical, to adhere to the ordinance. "She had been visiting a lot recently. Maybe she just got burned out," said a city spokeswoman. "She always comes back, though, I'm not too worried. Still, it's unusual for her to stay away this long." Officials say Freely apparently left Jayaville a over a month ago, though the city council was not alerted until she failed to appear for a court date last week.

"To be honest, I'm kind of enjoying the time apart," the spokeswoman coninued. "She took Explosive Pain and Cryingatstu Pidcommercials with her, but it's annoying to keep checking over my shoulder to see if she's back yet." The three have been noted to travel together, though Pain typically does not stay for the duration of Freely's visits.

"I think it's really unprofessional," countered the chief maintenance officer of the Maiuterus district. "In this city, we have to run different jets on different schedules. You wouldn't sit around waiting for a train for a week, would you? Flo thinks she can just do whatever she wants. She has such a big head since the city recognized her with that stupid [Commitment to Reproduction] award. The city has a very specific business deal with Ms. Freely, and she is clearly in violation of her contract."

Henrietta and Lalita O' Vary were unavailable for comment.